How to Win A Heart: Show Up Naked
“If you really do want to be an actor who can satisfy himself and his audience, you need to be vulnerable. You must reach the emotional and intellectual level of ability where you can go out stark naked, emotionally, in front of an audience.” - Jack Lemmon, Actor
Jack Lemmon was one of the greatest actors of our time. He won two Oscars, another 51 acting awards and 41 nominations. In 1988 he received the Life Achievement Award of the American Film Institute.
He knew a little sumthin' sumthin' about touching the hearts of his audiences through the variety of characters he portrayed. How did he do it? He showed up naked in the role.
The same is true in real life. When you show up naked, vulnerable, authentic and open, you allow others to genuinely see who you are. All true happiness, fulfillment and success come from living authentically.
If there’s something missing in your relationships chances are you are not expressing how you really think and feel. You aren't acting from your heart; you're acting from your head in a vain attempt to impress.
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Smith, Actor
Pretending to be someone you aren't doesn't feel good. The pretense can't be sustained. False relationships always bring pain, misery and dissolution. Yet in an attempt to find true love people cover themselves up with trappings of who they are not, or who they think they 'should be'.
In the pretending comes the despair of the lie. The despair isn't created from lying to other people. It’s delivered through the lie to oneself. Dishonoring who you are. Doing inauthentically. Being a lie.
"Writing songs is super intimate. It's a bit like getting naked." - Gwen Stefani, Singer/Songwriter
A lasting romance involves creating intimacy by being open, honest and candid with each other. Nothing is hidden. Even the darkest shadows are known and understood. People have a fundamental need to be understood. How can you be understood when you're not revealing your truth? The truth, spoken with tact, empathy, compassion and love is the ultimate form of intimacy.
"A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet." - Bob Dylan
The truth is poetic power. People are dynamically attracted to unwavering positive power. The more time you spend naked, expressing who you really are, the more comfortable and engaging you will become in your pursuit of and experience in an intimate relationship.
It takes moxie, the confident courage (guts, balls, chutzpah and fortitude) to be willing to show up naked. It's a bit scary, at first, to be so self aware, honest, trusting and expressive. You'll discover that when you do, you'll attract a partner who loves and understands you, fully and completely without reservation.
And you'll spend a lot of time naked, in and out of bed!
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
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